His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
