When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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