woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
