I have demons in me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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