Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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