Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
