So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
