I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We're too hungover to prance.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
