I have demons in me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
