OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
This couple is walking their pig around campus
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
