Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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