he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
