first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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