Sober January is a disaster.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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