i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
