literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
