Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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