i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
