loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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