You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My cat gives me a boner
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
