Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Randomize
