I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
