..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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