So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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