I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You need a sexual gate keeper
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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