the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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