first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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