I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
