Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
