Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
