Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
