Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
