oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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