In the future we'll all be gay
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
