you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
