I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I need to sanitize my soul.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
