Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
