Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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