I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
