adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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