i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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