why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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