East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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