have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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