Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
