Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
