Your tits are I can't wait for
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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