Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
where does the pee come out of this thing
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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