i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
