I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
