Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
