i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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