I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
