I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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