Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
