I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
