Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
