Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
two words...techno handjob
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
