She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
