You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
